


A Wvrigglin Day like no other

by Serrenedy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black-Red Vacillation, M/M, Pale Crush, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, diamond cheating, quadrents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serrenedy/pseuds/Serrenedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wriggling days are a thing even in death, blame Rufioh if you must. But Cronus' wriggling day turns out much more different then he ever imagined. (Birthday present for tumblr user MadCarnival) ALSO! I wrote their speaking in their quirks, I hope that's not to distracting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wvrigglin Day like no other

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madcarnival](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madcarnival/gifts).



> So....yeah. If you are reading this Silias, then know I tried. I know it's not great but your o.t.p. eems to be Cronus/Kurloz and I tried to write something sexy...I did! I promise you I did. it just didn't work out very well. So yeah. Please accept this really crappy third re-write of something that started out WAY worse. I hope that everyone who reads it will like it. This...fluffy piece of mess. Also, sorry in advance for Meulin, I must like her more than I realized because she just EXPLODED.

It was Rufioh fault. Back when everyone cared and they had been newly dead, he’d felt horrible for what he’d done to Damara. This caused him to make a calendar (a difficult feat in that time had no meaning) so that he could ‘accurately’ give her a wriggling day party. It hadn’t worked much to do anything but allow EVERYONE to claim a certain twenty four hour period as their own Wriggling day. In order for the system to not be abused, the calendar Rufioh had marked in the first place was the only one used and kept in a secure location…meaning it rotated between Rufioh, Aranea, Kankri, Porrim, and Latula at random moments as they were the only ones trusted not to abuse it. Unfortunately, this meant that only the Alphas (what the main timeline dead Alphas had decide upon calling themselves confusion be dammed) knew when exactly a wriggling day was coming up as to prepare themselves for it.

If you asked Kurloz what he was doing this particular day, he would sign that he was contemplating the motherfucking miracles of double death and the coming of his mirthful messiah while honoring said messiah in the highest way possible. If you asked anyone else or even looked at him, the answer of what he was doing would be that he was lounging on a giant Lily-pad while slurping Faygo through a straw. The Faygo fell out of his hands and spilled as the Lily was moved. He frowned and saw a Meenah with whose shoulder length hair was in one plait down her back. She was also smoking slightly. The Meenah scrambled out of the water disrupting the Lily even more. She looked frantic when she finally turned her head to Kurloz, though her expression changed to relief when she saw him—not registering his frown. 

          “You guppy hide me!” She begged. “Cronus’ talkin a-boat a wrigglin day or somefin and he won’t swim off!” Kurloz looked down at the spilled Faygo, she followed his eyes. “COME ON NOW! You can think of anotha one I’m shore!” He sighed, a strange hissing forcing its way through his stitches and more indicated by his shoulders sinking down. The Lily jerked again as another hand grabbed at its edge. The hand slipped as the Lily itself disappeared and the memory shifted as Kurloz unlocked a nearby bubble. With a nod, the Meenah ran off into a nearby hive. She had barely slammed the door shut when the hand (that floundered for a bit at the radical shift in memory) got its grip on the dock and pulled up a soaking Cronus with it. A quick glance confirmed that this was in fact Alpha Cronus, as the others were known to don even more ridiculous outfits than normal.

          “Meenah, I’m entitled to one wvrigglin day gift. All I wvant is a ki…” Cronus trailed off at seeing that the person on the dock was not Meenah, but rather Kurloz. He chuckled, a humorless breathy sound. “Hey Chief…wvat’s up?” Kurloz merely smiled, his stiches almost pulling with the strength of it. Cronus flushed lavender. “Wvell if you ain’t seen Meenah nowvere, guess I’ll just get outa your hair.” Kurloz smiled even wider, and made a few signs Cronus didn’t understand. “Umm. Bye” With that the sea dweller tried to jump back into the ocean, only to be stopped as Kurloz opened up another memory and shifted the one they were using. Cronus took stock, to realize they were now in a small room with another bubble nearby that was too clouded for him to use to get away from the now advancing mime. “H-Hey—it’s my wvrigglin day…Rufioh said…ummm….Kurloz!?” No matter how the other tried, the still smiling Mime wasn’t to be deterred and soon had covered the (scared shitless) bard’s mouth and eyes. 

          “HE GOOOT HIIIM!!! I TOLD YOOOU HE MEWOULD! NOW QUIET GUYS IF WE WANNA SURPPPUUURRRSE HIM!” Meulin’s voice cut through the fog of fear Cronus felt. With her announcement, Kurloz released him.

“HAPPY WRIGLING DAY CRONUS” came the shout from the six trolls in the room

As his eyes refocused he noted first off that he was in the same room, though a wall had been taken out. The second thing he noticed was the streamers and decorations, the room looked exactly like the sock hop from his favorite Human movie.

          “Wvat?” He whispered, taking it all in. Not only was the area decorated but the assembled guests were all in 50’s style human clothing. Meulin stood smiling in an olive green polka dot poodle dress next to Horuss and Rufioh—both of whom were dressed like ton up boys. 

          “Though it was n9t my idea” Kankri started stepping forward, a part of Cronus wondered how his normal attire had been switched out for the open red button up over the white shirt and the high-water jeans. He made a small mental note to thank whoever did it as the faint muscles the other possessed could now be seen. “I ap9l9gize f9r this, this was an 9bvi9usly 6ad idea as y9u are currently triggered 6y this imitati9n human affair.” Cronus regained motor control of his body to hug Kankri.

          “This is the nicest thing evwer!” He choked out, tears threatening to spill out. As Kankri wasn’t able to reach his whistle, it was up to Porrim (dressed like a color swapped version of Rizzo from the human movie Grease) to step forward to break the hug.

          “Cro+nus, yo+ur enthusiasm is no+ted, ho+wever—Kankri’s much lower than yo+u o+n the Hemo+spectrum. So he’s a lo+t weaker and I think yo+u’re breaking his back.” With that Cronus hurriedly let go of the small mutant. Kankri coughed a few times, unable to double die by Cronus’ hand, but still very uncomfortable with having his spine bent that particular way.

          “L37H’S G37H 7HH15 L4M3 455 P4R7HY 57H4R7H3D” Came the scream from Mituna.  The blue and red mismatched gloves a worse signal than his bright yellow fedora or the matching bowling top. He had managed to find his way over to the D.J. tables but was having issues getting it started. Porrim and Kankri went over to help him and soon, there was music.

Meulin grabbed Cronus, Rufioh went onto the dance floor followed closely by his matesprite and the party was in full swing. Latula arrived a bit later and took control of the music and Mituna was always found in between standing with her, or dancing with Kurloz, who had been persuaded, presumably by the same person who persuaded Kankri, into black suit pants, a purple suit shirt with suspenders, and even a black fedora with purple pinstripes. Cronus got a chance to dance with (and even flirt with) everyone that night. Though he didn’t hit on EVERYONE (Mostly because Kurloz was still wearing the face paint and bone gloves and so scared the hell out of him, and he didn’t know what Horuss would do if he hit on his matesprite even jokingly). Most of them seemed to take it well! Kankri started on a rant about celibacy before Porrim relived him and he spun into the embrace of Horuss. Horuss seemed embarrassed about something, near glowing blue and stuttering horribly. Rufioh rescued the horse a short while later, but wouldn’t say anything about his behavior. Whatever it was Rufioh must have known about it as a light chocolate dusting appeared when it was mentioned. Meulin actually flirted back with him! Though her heavy use of cat puns and giggles every other word made it obvious she was joking. Cronus found himself wondering why he didn’t hang out with her more as she was actually really funny. He gave himself a small kick in the pants for not talking to her before she found a moiral, but chocked it up to him ignoring her since she was deaf. Mituna was interesting to dance with, as he didn’t like being touched even then, and Latula must have noticed, because she put on the hand jive. He did talk to Latula a bit while bringing her some punch. She actually knew a lot of Human music and jams from the right time period; it was just a guilty pleasure since it was ‘sooooooooooooooooooooo unr4d dud3’. He wasn’t able to glean from her whose idea the party was, as the only thing she’d been able to tell him was that her matesprite asked her to come do the music and that she only agreed on the condition that she didn’t have to wear a costume. It seemed Porrim might have been the planer, as she kept running interference for Kankri and making sure everyone was having fun. Though, he did get a chance to talk to her when Meulin freed her from Kankri for a few dances. She confirmed that the party was _not_ in fact her idea, but that the planner had asked her to help and that she and Meulin had been in charge of everyone’s outfits.  

The evening ended with cake and everyone gathering to give Cronus presents. Horuss demanded to be first, claiming that he would feel better were the gift in the hands of the recipient. It was instantly obvious as to what he’d been blushing about the whole time.

“As I was informed of your wriggling day I strove to create something you had a STRONG need for, or that would be otherwise useful to you” The horse had given him a metallic (Working, he poked at it) pelvis. Cronus was kind enough not to actually take it out of the box, deflecting all questions about what had put the bright flushes on the cheeks of everyone involved. Rufioh was quick to give his gift after that, the muddy blush now reaching his ears and Cronus wondered if his gift had used a model of some sort. Rufioh’s gift was a coupon for a free flight whenever he wanted. He gave the fudge blood a hug for that, remembering to be careful of his strength this time. Latula and Mituna stepped up next

“Th3y go tog3th3r” She explained. From ‘her’ He had gotten a pair of skates—and as a true testament to how much she paid attention even when she didn’t seem to, they were the 50’s style four wheel ones. Though by the look on her face, she’d have preferred inline ones. “4nd l33sonz m4n!” She suddenly said as an afterthought “Gott4 know how to shr34d 4m 1 right!” Latula gave him a sharp grin as Mituna cane forward to give him safety gear that was wrapped way to well for him to actually do it.

“4ND 1 PR0MI553 N07H 7H0 C4LL5 Y0U 4 543 DW3LL1NG 5CUM A553D FUFCK1NG DOUCHNUG337H5555555 F0R…UMMMMM” He turned to Latula.

“4 w33k” She informed him.

“R1GH7H! WH47H 5H3 541D!” Latula nodded, a small smile playing on her lips at her matesprite’s actions, while Kankri went off, blowing his whistle at the other one. Mituna flinched with the sound. “500RY” He automatically started. “WH47H3V3R 17H W45 PL3453 57H0P 7HH47H N0153 HUR7H5—HUR7H5 HUR7H5, 500RY HUR7H5, PL3453 57H0P—HUR7H5” This continued until Latula reached out to stop Kankri herself. He turned red, but surrendered the beloved whistle. She smiled at him almost as if she _didn’t_ know what she did to him, but turned almost immediately back to her red mate to check on him. Kurloz was already there, pacifying in a practiced manner that caused everyone in the room to blush. Latula took him once he was calm enough to go, taking the whistle with her and prompting Kankri to jump forward in line and give him his present so that he could go back to his hive and grab another. Kankri had given him a whistle, though this one was violet in color. He had also included a rather large book simply labeled ‘C9mm9n Triggers t9 6l9w f9r’. Cronus catalogued the gift, and even thought that he might wear the whistle sometimes as it matched his outfit. But like his cigarettes, the thing probably would only be there for decoration.

“THE HUNTRESS IS NE33XT!” Meulin proclaimed. She seemed ready to burst and uncatalogued a scarily similar shape. Cronus’ eyes widened. Meulin bounced on the tips of feet. “I’VE NOTICED MEW HAVE A BAD HABBIT OF BETTING WITH ALTERNATE PUUURRRSIONS OF MEENAH FUR KISSSES. MEWWW WERE INCOLSOLABLE AFTER YOU LOST KRISTE IN A GAME! LUCK-PURRR-LY, I’M VERRRY GOOD AT STALK ANNND POUNCE!” Cronus listened to her half in a daze as he carefully unwrapped the guitar he’d been missing for what felt like forever. He got up and wordlessly hugged her, once again minding his strength. There were actual tears streaming down his face.

“Meulin, I tho+ght we’d agreed yo+u’d go+ last.” Porrim pouted. She turned in his arms and threw a shrug at the other girl. Cronus cataloged his baby carefully, and turned to Porrim. She huffed angrily at the cat girl, before producing a wrapped package. Cronus opened it to find a leather jacket, this one with violet stitching and his sign on the back.

“Oh Wvowv” He whispered looking at it. He didn’t know how she alchemized the materials, but it was soft and supple in his hands, even around the golden studs. He put it on after examining it and smiled warmly. It was a perfect fit, and he realized the only time to get his measurements would have been even before he lost Kristie as it was the last time he had gotten a hug, and that it was Kankri who gave it to him. He started to tear up again, and gave Porrim a hug as well, though she ‘protested’ and claimed it was nothing.  Kurloz was last and smirked at him, before simply gesturing around them.

“Kurlo+z was the mysterio+us party planner” Porrim explained. Cronus’ eyes widened.  

“You did alla this?” He asked. Kurloz’s smirk widened before he made hand signs that Cronus couldn’t understand. He shook his head at the mime. “I’m sorry, I havwe no idea wvhat you mean”

“OOOHHH OOOHHH I COULD TRANSLATE IF YOU DON’T UNPUUURRRSTAND” Meulin chimed in. Kurloz raised an eyebrow at that, while Cronus just nodded (and tried to will away the HARD pale boner he was now sporting for the cat girl) “HE SAID ‘I JUST WANNTED TO UP AND S33 A MOTHERFUCKIN SMILE FOR ONCE AND IF IT WOULD MAKE ME WANNA POUND YOUR  MUGGALO ASS FACE IN ANY LESS’” Cronus paled at that, while Kurloz smiled as sweetly as anyone with stitches in their mouth could smile.

“I’m almost scared to ask, but did it wvork chief?” He asked with a scared smile. Kurloz smiled wider, going from sweet to malicious. Cronus almost didn’t register that his hand was moving until Meulin spoke again.

“IT DID MOTHERFUCKIN NOT. I’M STILL CURIOUS AS SHIT ABOUT YOU. OUGHT TO FEEL LIKE SHIT, GOT MY QUADRENTS MOTHERFUCKIN VACILATIN OVER HERE RED THEN BLACK AND BACK THE MOTHERFUCK AGIAN” Cronus blushed up to his fins. He was pretty sure he was going to faint. “AND AINT EVEN GIVEN YOU YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN WRIGLIN DAY PRESENT YET” Cronus blinked at that. He’d have thought the party was his gift, but before he could ask about it, he was firmly aware of the sensation of stiches on his lips. His think pan did not handle this well and he did pass out.

 

Cronus woke up in his recupracoon. He looked around for a bit, wondering if the wriggling day party was just a good dream. The thought sent a wave of despair through his bloodpusher, but as he checked his wardrobe—the jacket from Porrim was there. He uncatalogued Kristie and replaced her in the seat of honor known to most as a holding case. He sat down to his desk to thank everyone for the party, and even noticed there were a few messages on his Trollchum from those that hadn’t made it. Meenah’s apology for not being around the day of the party was too nicely worded for her (and Aranea wasn’t the best at hiding her quirk). He spoke to Meulin for a while before he got a message.

                    TerrorCarnival began trolling CreativeAnglerfish

                    TC: LOOK UNDER YOUR MOTHERFUCKING KEYBOARD

                    CA: Wvait, did you just talk?

                    CA: Kurloz, did you speak?

                    CA: Wvhy do you use gifs if your keyboard’s fine

                    CA: Kurloz? Wvhat’s goin on?

                    TerrorCarnival is now idle

Cronus gulped, but went under his keyboard. There was a seemingly innocuous letter there, done in purple with violet hearts on one side half and done in violet with purple spades on the other. He took a deep breath and opened it.

LISTEN UP NOW MOTHERFUCKER,

I’M HAVIN FAR TOO MANY MOTHERFUCKING ISSUES WITH THIS, SO WE’RE GONNA DO THIS NOW. I DON’T GIVE TOO SHITS LESS WHICH, BUT YOUR GONNA BE IN A MOTHERFUCKING QUADRENT IF I GOTTA FORCE YOU. JUST A WARNING, YOUR THINKPAN MIGHT NOT SURVIVE IF I GOTTA FORCE YOU, BUT AS YOU CAN SEE FROM MY MOIRAL, I AINT GOT A PROBLEM WITH BROKEN MOTHERFUCKERS. I’LL BE HANGIN WITH MY KITTYBITCH AND MY BROKEN BROTHER IF YOU WANNA TALK, BUT YOU GONNA NEED TO MOTHERFUCKING LEARN HOW TA TALK WITH ME. SO FISH FACE, WHAT’S IN GONNA BE? MUELIN’S WAITIN TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER AND UPDATE HER DAMN WALL. EITHER WAY, YOU AINT GONNA NEED PONYBOY’S GIFT MUCH LONGER.

 

Cronus blushed harder than he ever remembered doing in his life or death. He bit his lip, and felt the phantom stiches. Meulin was waiting for an answer, the only question was if he wanted to fight the clown or not.

                    CreativeAnglerfish started trolling ArbitratingCheetah


End file.
